Conform – to act in accord with the prevailing standards, attitudes, practices, etc., of society or a group; to be or become similar in form, nature, or character.
Transform – to change in form, appearance, or structure; metamorphose. To change in condition, nature, or character; convert.
(‘Metamorphose’ would be a crippling bananagrams word.)
I’ve felt recently that I left my metamorphosed mind in Hangzhou. There I was a teacher, a mentor, a friend, and a teammate. Everything was intentional and adventurous. Here, I am a middle-class white male who is unemployed and taking 10 hours at a JuCo. Everything is normal and ordinary.
God recently graced me with the past two months to think about my intentional life in China and where it was headed (and when I say ‘graced’ I mean that I had absolutely nothing to do for two months). I was trying to keep up with my DBS studies-alone-because my team was spread out all over the country. This became a season of impatience, frustration, and self-loathing.
Blinded by self-righteousness, I didn’t understand the ‘detox’ God has been leading me through. I was convicted by a few simple words:
“The righteous will live by faith.”
I understood then that I had unknowingly set obedience above faith. That my relationship with God is not measured by my successful iWill’s, but by my willingness to trust. I have no students, no one to mentor, no close friends, and no “team”, yet He is faithful. He disciplines those He loves, and I am reminded how much He loves me.
- measure my obedience by my faithfulness and trust (attitude), not by the results (works).
- remember His faithfulness in times of worry.
- pray that He will increase my faith this week.
- I need a job. Who doesn’t?
- Past teammates in China (Stan, Julianne, Kevin, Benjamin, Bonny)
- Leadership of our country